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Gone are the days when women were regarded as incongruous and incompetent, when their aptitude was questioned. These imposing creatures have not left any area untouched now. In such an era, women power is still subjugated by males.

Whether they are proficient or amateurish in a task, women have proved their adroit forte and efficacy. Be it a physical effort or an intellectual endeavour, women have come out unbeaten. Truly, in the present scientific era, women are becoming cognizant, accomplished, responsible and well informed in almost all walks of life. But even today, when women-power needs no introduction, we run across many incidents involving molestations, eve teasing, rapes, murders, mental and physical harassments due to dowry, etc.

Women residing in the rural parts are one of the major victims of such abuses. Reasons are ample – low literacy rate, less awareness, lofty male dominance. And here comes a very obvious question – how many of the rural women are aware that March 8 is celebrated as international women’s day? None, to be honest!

March 8 is a day that rejoices womanhood the world over every year. Leaving few areas and corners, of course! It is, indeed, doted on that women’s male counterparts salute them worldwide on this day for being so very special, imperative and indispensable.

But it would have been even more evocative and meaningful to observe this day or rather realise its magnitude a few hundred years ago when women’s status in the society was literally down in the mouth. If we weigh that age against today’s time, we simply can’t overlook the across-the-board reformation in women’s image. It is there for all to witness and extol. Thanks to wide-ranging education and allied prospects and opportunities, today’s women are not what they were then. In those revolting times, women were not only looked down upon, but their desire for education also remained disgruntled owing to the rampant male dominated customs.

A modern woman pulls off umpteen roles. Be it of a domestic, social, political, scientific or technical nature, she plays a vital role in all fields with absolute excellence. It is a matter of pride that women can stand shoulder to shoulder with men in varied as well as challenging fields like research and development (R&D), design and development, marketing, production, etc. They have embarked on obscure and strenuous jobs and delivered resourcefully in such areas too. Madam Curie (a scientist) and Mother Teresa (a great social worker) are perfect exemplary figures for this.

The present-day women are a lot more educated and also perform manifold roles – of a homemaker, employer, employee, etc. And not to forget, they carry off all their roles with sheer confidence and audacity – all thanks to their inherent skills and apposite sensitivity and planning.

A woman’s success story is woven with her will to sacrifice and compromise when it matters the most and an equally robust strength of mind to guard her morals and ethics in severe state of affairs. A share of the credit for women’s changed status in the society, no doubt, goes to men as well. We should not fail to concede that men, too, are behind the turnaround in women’s image. Apparently, men too have made sacrifices and compromises towards making way for women in areas where they ruled! Had they not made alterations in their approach and outlook, women might not have progressed this much. But then it is men again who upset a woman’s image in the society. Now it’s their call to be eulogised or to be deprecated.

No limitations can imprison 21st century women, as their spirit and thoughts are free. With the materialisation of women power with the advent of the 21st century and their augmented active inputs in information technology (IT) and biotechnology, it is pragmatic to anticipate an absolute woman dominated society by the end of this century.

Myth says men rule over women (especially in India). But the world has changed now, and so should those books alter the chapters that speak only about ‘manpower’. Let the males face it – today’s women can compete with their men counterparts in every field. They can dump them too!

If you can dump her, so can she!

Gone are the days when only a guy had the ‘authority’ to leave his girlfriend. Today’s girls have long back buried those fears of getting dumped by their boyfriends. The era has arrived when girls can pay back in the same coin. And they know why and how to do it.

Being the more levelheaded of the two sexes, girls keep in mind all the factors before taking ‘that’ decision. They do themselves a favour by getting it over with, as they know that it’s over and thus, makes no sense playing ‘girlfriend’ any more.

Let’s move in the chronological order as to ‘why’ followed by ‘how’ a girl winds up a relationship.

Why?
The reasons behind her calling it off may be any of the following:

No charm left in the relationship
When she feels no vibes are exciting her anymore, then she knows it’s the time to move on…without him! An unhappy relationship cannot be jacked up. So she hits another road.

He’s not up to her expectations
She wants him to care for her; not send her roses everyday. She wants him to wipe her tears away; not make her cry overnight for no reason. She wants his emotional support; not his bulky wallet. And if he goes the other way around, she will make sure he never comes her way ever again.

He dominates her
If he feels she should always be at his beck and call simply because she dwells in a male chauvinistic society, he’ll have to bear the cost by losing her!

He has double-crossed her
The worst of all! He is totally out of the scene if he is hanging out with another girl. That way, not only is he pushing aside her feelings, but also slapping her dignity. And in such case, she has the full right to backfire in the best hurting manner.

Sex: He wants it, she denies it
If he wants only sex despite her constant ‘No’, he deserves to be dumped. He must remember while making such a demand that it’s not ‘he’ but ‘he and she’ in the relationship to take decisions. So everything should happen with mutual understanding.

How?
Woman, as they say, is the most beautiful creation of god. And thus, she’s been endowed with the quality of doing things in the same manner – beautifully! Yes, she tries not to hurt his feelings too much while killing off the relationship with him. But mind you (men), she may be equally bad at times (and these are the times when you have stabbed on her back!).

Boys, prepare yourselves! Whenever she does any of the following things, she is pointing up at dumping you soon (in a decent way, of course!):

An honest meeting
She is sensible enough to break ‘that’ news to him. Phone, email or SMS (Short Message Service) are the unrefined ways to tell him that, and she knows it. She will meet him somewhere and give her honest explanation of the break-up.

Tell him why
Saving him time and energy to wonder on what went wrong, she will set it right to him with all her subtle reasons. She very well knows he was the one she fell in love with, so she won’t merely say, “It’s over” and walk off.

Give him time to think and react
After her shot, it’s time for him to swallow what she’s just said. And she gives him that time. He may try to elucidate things to get her back, but she will remain on her firm yet tender ‘No’.

If not concluded such a piece with real ‘activists’ and ‘victims’, the spice will be left out of it. Garima, a teacher at the British School of Language, quips, “I had a boyfriend when I was in college and the relationship was quite serious (I guess, at the end only). Then one day, I discovered that he was dating another girl as well, and that was the end of it. I slapped him hard on his face.”

Whereas, Shweta Pawar, a finance student, has a very arresting experience to share, “I was very much in love with a guy some two and a half years ago. But I found him to be a real bully after the courtship of about a month. I tried explaining him that, but, was left with nothing but to take a break. So…one day, I told him that and planned my future without him. Though I miss him even today at times, but those memories of his dominating nature give me enough reason not to approach him anymore”.

Ask her what she told him while dumping him and Shweta reveals, “Nothing much! I asked him to come out with me for a cup of coffee and there, I said, “It’s not working out between both of us. So it’s better to call it quits.” He was shocked at that but I gave my valid reasons and he walked away without saying a word.”

Maddy, a theater artist, has been dumped by his girlfriend recently. Though he loved her so much, yet he could never realise during their courtship that she was going to ditch him. “She claimed to love me as much I loved her. But I have no idea what went wrong that suddenly she stopped seeing me or even taking my calls. And then one day, she reasoned that I wasn’t taking my career seriously,” tells Maddy.

It seems Saif Ali Khan has jumped on David Beckham bandwagon by getting Kareena’s name tattooed on his arm! And the tradition has become a must-have for the ultra modern lovey-dovey couples. A fairly common custom, it has an opposite aspect as well.

Bollywood and Hollywood are packed with copious of celebrities, who have had the names of their partners tattooed on some or the other part of their bodies. Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thorton got each other’s names needled on their arms; the marriage failed at last! Johnny Depp swallowed the pain to have ‘Winona Forever’ tattooed on his upper arm; he modified it to ‘Wino Forever’ after the split! Pamela Anderson altered ‘Tommy’ with ‘Mommy’ post break-up! And Saif Ali Khan has done the thing of late.

Contrarily, some celebs have it forever! David Beckham braved the needle in his wife Victoria’s name on his arm in the Devnagiri script, and his three sons’ names in different spots on his back. Melanie Griffith still has husband Antonio Banderas’ name. And we need to wait so as to add or never to add Saif Ali Khan’s daring act in this list.

What these stars do is followed by the youth. The fashion they air becomes a style statement. My question here is – Is it the sane step to pronounce their courtship like this – so loud and clear? If you know he/she is the one, then it does make sense. What if it’s the other way around?

Does one really need to do something this silly to prove that the love is in the air? What after that romantic air blows away? You are left with nothing but to repent over that unripe decision that was, in most of the cases, taken in the spur of the moment.

We bagged some experts’ advice on this. Pradeep Menon, a tattoo artist, divulges, “No less than two customers a month come to me with a demand of tattooing their lover’s names on their bodies. But alas! Roughly 80 per cent of them return shortly asking to remove it.”

So we can see the light why it is that most of the tattoo artists discourage customers from getting name tattoos. “I propose they get it in a foreign language, albeit someone insists on getting their lover’s name tattooed. That way, its meaning is known only to that person,” adds Menon.

Another tattooist, Sameer Patange asserts, “If you want a simple permanent tattoo, it costs between Rs 2,500 to Rs 8,000 that can go even higher! And it costs ten times more to get a tattoo off, be it through laser or plastic surgery. Plus, there’s no guarantee of getting the original skin tone back.”

Hairstylist, Kevin Billings, who had tattooed his wife’s name on his arm even before they got married, asks, “If you believe in the relationship, then why not do such a thing? My wife also needled my initials some time later. Though a few people think it to be dim-witted, it barely matters to us!”

As they say love knows no borders, my question is – why have we hemmed love in a chain of days that suddenly breaks when Valentine’s Day takes off? Does this passionate feeling called love actually need few ‘special’ days to express its intensity?

“As long as I and my girlfriend are together, each day is a Valentine’s Day for us. This day but the profundity of emotions for each other holds the utmost value, isn’t it?” asks Nitin, a 21-year-old student. And indeed he is correct. Love is an unimpeded feeling that disapproves of getting caged behind the bars of certain days.

Apparently Rose Day falls on February 7, which is followed by Propose Day, Chocolate Day, Teddy Day, Promise Day, Kiss Day and Hug Day – strictly in that order, until February 14 emerges when Valentine’s Day rolls in and puts the so-called lovey-dovey days to rest. Why do we ‘ritualise’ these asinine and childish days, which have been spawned in the west? Aren’t these days outshining the real meaning of love and shooting down its charisma?

“Though I don’t very much believe in rejoicing these days, but don’t mind these either,” asserts Naveen, a 23-year-old relationship manager in a bank. Ask him which days among the lot he celebrated with his girlfriend this year, he chirps, “I give her a rose every time we meet… she doesn’t need a soft toy as she herself is one… I’m the chocolate lover amongst us and we celebrate the Propose Day every year. On the day I actually proposed to her eight years back – all in all, we don’t need fixed dates to relish such special moments.”

Sheetal, a GE Money employee, holds different views altogether, “I enjoy celebrating few of these days like Chocolate Day and Teddy Day, as I get loads of chocolates and soft toys, though I have to reciprocate as well. But it’s worth doing so once in a year.”

Now that takes us to another (rather real) facet – ‘once in a year’. Yes, we do celebrate these days once in a year, wherein Valentine’s Day always tops the charts, as it is savoured annually the world over without fail. And at the first flush of the next morning, it becomes history! But the passion of love inside hearts still prevails… throughout the year.

If we scan these days by the names and try to decipher the significance they possibly could hold, we arrive at no good point. Let’s start with Rose Day. What does that mean, in the first place? Are we allowed to pluck roses on this day to gift to our spouse, which is generally against law on the ‘ordinary’ days? Likewise, does Propose Day spread the message that one has got the right of proposing to the one he thinks he is in love with (and if he misses the chance this year, he has lost it for another 364 days)?

And who will demystify the mystery of Chocolate Day? Are the nagging mothers behind the idea of making this day, so that the deprived kids could, with full right, dig teeth into their favourite chocolates? So are the queries about rest of the fêted days – Teddy Day, Promise Day, Kiss Day and Hug Day - unanswered.

A rose followed by a chocolate, a soft toy wrapped into the promises of scores of kisses and hugs are not enough for one to approve of a lover’s proposal. Love is not a mere ‘weekly’ affair, but the long-term bond is what one looks forward to, and that comes from mutual understanding and compatibility, but not from such phony days.

A series of arduous rounds and strenuous tests kept Lead India contestants on their toes, eliminating non-deserving candidates one by one until RK Misra was discovered. We hope he evolves to be a ‘real’ leader and not just another politician.

RK Misra turned out to be the best man on the Lead India stage at the grand finale held at Noida’s Film City on Saturday (Feb 9). The man from Bangalore, Misra was announced winner by the former president APJ Abdul Kalam.

The new leader was fortunate enough to bag all but one of the judges’ vote. The special judges panel at the mega final encompassed Right to Information (RTI) activist and Magsaysay award winner Arvind Kejriwal, India’s solicitor general Goolam Vahanvati, senior Congress leader and former Madhya Pradesh chief minister Digvijay Singh and Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) spokesperson Ravi Shankar Prasad. The permanent jury members – Kiran Bedi, Javed Akhtar and The Times of India (TOI) senior editor Vikas Singh – joined this special team.

The chief guests at the do consisted of Amar Singh, Arun Jaitley and Abhishek Manu Singhvi; they latched on a panel debate on ‘Why the new generation shows no interest in joining the politics.’ Singh also announced that his party would give a ticket to the finalists having ideal Samajwadi Party profiles. He stated that luck, opportunity and utility were the three components that made politicians.

Jaitley refused the idea of offering the candidates an easy ticket to enter politics; instead he focused on the power of ethics, morals and principles to excel in the long run. Singhvi seemed to share the same opinion. He asserted, “Let’s not make politics a charitable organisation. The competent candidates will be, no doubt, grabbed by us.”

Just before the winner was announced, the host Anupam Kher invited on stage the voted out six finalists – Soumya Mishra, Ujjwal Banerjee, Ranjit Gadgil, Dipayan Dey, Abha Singh and Sanjiv Kaura; they were given a big round of applause for their good performances.

Vineet Jain, managing director (MD), Times Group, stated, “The amazing response that we’ve got for Lead India is simply great. Lead India is an easily accessible platform for the Indian youth who wants to join politics.”

Out of the two strong finalists, Misra bagged India’s leader’s tile after beating Devang Nanavati in the last round. Misra showed his respect towards Nanavati’s excellent sense of arguing his case, and Nanavati termed Misra as a ‘doer’ and not a ‘talker’.

The grand finale demanded both the final candidates to make a case in one minute. While Nanavati articulated that good governance was not guaranteed by only joining active politics, Misra enlightened his public private partnership model. They also disclosed their dream projects; Nanavati has plans to establish a centre for leadership and social governance in Ahmedabad and Misra envisions of setting up a cattle farm in his village Sonari in Uttar Pradesh (UP).

After the judges’ votes, audience’s poll, short message service’s (SMS) count, Misra was declared the man of the hour. Kalam presented him with a certificate and a cheque for Rs 50 lakhs, and Misra reiterated Nanavati’s statement, “This is not the end of Lead India. The actual journey has just begun.”

“Give me blood and I shall give you freedom,” Subhash Chandra Bose not only proclaimed thus but also lived up to his words. A true nationalist, he didn’t rethink before dying for sovereignty of India.

Revered as Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose, the great Indian freedom fighter against the British Rule and the prominent national leader of the Indian Independence Movement was born on January 23, 1897, in Cuttack in Orissa. The legend, with a desire to free the nation, plunged into politics after resigning from the esteemed Indian Civil Service in April 1921 regardless of his high grades in the merit list, and went about to be reformed into an active member of India’s independence movement.

Bose was elected the president of the Indian National Congress (INC) twice, in1937 and 1939. Mahatma Gandhi’s non-violent strategies were never appreciated or approved by Bose. He deemed that Gandhi’s tactics would never facilitate India achieve independence. So his ideological clashes with Mahatma Gandhi led him to quit the INC. And being a strong advocate of aggressive and violent combat, he grounded All India Forward Bloc in 1939, a political party. Thus, began his battle for freedom to overthrow the British Empire.

The Indian nationalist was arrested eleven times for his anti-British movements between 1920 and 1941. But nothing could stop this hero, who was absolutely committed to return his motherland its lost sovereignty.

Bose piloted the youth wing of the Congress Party and headed the trade union movement in India. Indian National Army (Azad Hind Fauj) was his establishment. He also structured another wing of Congress called Service League, and was greatly regarded for his contributions.

Notwithstanding his apparent hatred for the British Empire, he had a profound penchant for its systematic attitude and tenaciously disciplinarian stance towards life.

Bose focused on the democratic system, which he thought was the apposite option for India. He was the true supporter of independence, yet is not endowed with the amount of significance he deserves. Gandhi’s Congress Party came to rule post independence and Bose’s efforts were barely kept in mind. When Mahatma Gandhi, Jawaharlal Nehru and other leaders’ birth anniversaries are celebrated nationally, why not Subhash Chandra Bose’s?

Bose’s ways to liberate India from the Eastern front persists to cause intense discussions in the Indian society, even today. Every Indian should salute his strong nationalism, vigorous efforts to release India from her bounds and the remarkable journey he undertook in the quest to meet his objectives.

The Supreme Court has validated long live-in relationships as marriages. And the children born out of such ‘liaisons’ will no more be called ‘nullius filius’ or ‘by-blow’. They will enjoy the same status as that of any kid born after a marriage.

The society is changing, for the good of course! The recent verdict by the Supreme Court that long-term live-in relationships be acknowledged as legalised marriages is an apparent example of such social reform. The mankind that was always in absolute antagonism of a live-in relationship has finally green-lighted it, only if it has been bricked with firm underpinning.

A Supreme Court bench headed by Justice Arijit Pasayat declared that children born out of such a relationship will no more be called illegitimate. “Law inclines in the interest of legitimacy and thumbs down ‘whoreson’ or ‘fruit of adultery’,” it added.

In further statements, the court proclaimed that even though the assumption of marriage is rebuttable, heavy burden lies on the person who seeks to question the legality of a relationship to ascertain that no marriage transpired. The court cannot brush off the evidence introduced to weaken the presumption in such stance.

If we look back into history, we come across one such couple whose fate was re-established even after a judgment in Madhya Pradesh High Court. The year was 1985. The bench rebuilt a lower court’s order and acknowledged Loli as the wife of Radhika Singh. Loli lived for several years with him and brought forth five daughters and a son.

To catch hold of an expert’s opinion on such a grave and brave step, Merinews spoke to Leena, a lawyer, who felt it’s a commendable act, and “It’s a very good judgement. Such things should be given validity in our society. For me, it’s a very radical attitude and we all should respect it. Women should be given the liberty to choose their life partners and should not be forced into marriages if they are not ready.”

What does the general public opine on such an action by the government? We asked a few of them and could sense it’s a wise step since the majority was in favour, albeit some opposed it too.

“Long-term live-in relationships are de facto marriages. The SC has taken the right decision,” underlined Prashant Kapoor, a psychology student.

Whereas, SK Mittal, a navy officer, when asked, said with a frown, “This way, the new generation will be more spoiled. They will prefer live-in relationships to marriages arranged by their parents. And what’s the guarantee that the male in such relationship will turn out to be a loyal partner in the long run? What if he leaves the girl with kids and runs away without prior notice?” But his teenaged daughter, Gunjan Mittal, a struggling reporter, seemed holding different views, “I think this decision is for the betterment of the society. Poor kids will be able to live without their heads down in shame. I totally support this judgment.”

“If you love somebody dearly, are living with him/her for a long time, then you are already husband-wife,” stated John Manohar, a doctor at St Stephens Hospital. “And when the government stamps your relationship, nothing like that! A good move by the SC, indeed,” Manohar further added.

Gone are the days when an actress, if got married, was considered ineligible for further hogging the limelight. We have ample examples of our ‘daring’ ladies who reincarnated themselves on the silver screen.

Dimple Kapadia did it with Sagar. Kajol with Fanaa. Hema Malini with Baghban. Zeenat Aman with Boom and Madhuri Dixit wih Aaja Nachley. So did various other actresses! And Sridevi is giving the latest buzz.

Madhuri Dixit
Bollywood’s dancing damsel, Madhuri Dixit, after walking down the aisle with the NRI doctor Sriram Nene in 1998, returned with the same smile in Pukar, Lajja and Devdas, and recently shook her leg in Aaja Nachle. Every time, she was received with arms wide open!

Kajol
The star kid, Kajol tied the knot with the star hubby Ajay Devgan and vanished from the big screen. But in next to no time, reappeared with Fanaa and rejoiced good amount of admiration for her outstanding performance.

Hema Malini
The dream girl, Hema Malini hit the theaters again with her amazingly refreshing looks in Baghban. After sliding away from the spotlight, Malini was seen in a handful of character roles, unless this beautiful creation went to her kitty.

Dimple Kapadia
When Bobby came, everybody was flabbergasted by the gorgeous face and impeccable innocence of the then 16-year-old Dimple Kapadia. So was the then superstar Rajesh Khanna…so much so that he ended up getting hitched to the beauty! And that, in turn, ended the lady’s booming career. But as the pair tasted bitterness in the relationship, they split. The outcome was Sagar, followed by great works like Rudali, Lekin, Dil Chahta Hai, etc. Rest is history.

Zeenat Aman
Zeenat Aman is one name that reminds us of a ‘bold and beautiful’ star of her time, who became the inspiration of today’s Mallika Shehrawat, Bipasha Basu. And why not? She has it in her even today! Endowing the industry with hits like Satyam Shivam Sundaram, Hare Rama Hare Krishna, Qurbani, she suddenly went astray only to bang the tinsel town’s doors with Boom in 2003. Though she was noticed in the flick for all the wrong reasons, Aman is all set to be seen in Jaana, sharing screen space with Rajesh Khanna.

Sridevi
With Judaai, she went behind the curtains. But now, Sridevi is again looking forward to joining the Bollywood. Married to producer Boney Kapoor, the still-very-gorgeous Sridevi hopes to get roped in some challenging project in the near future. And her action is awaited by the masses.

People’s verdict to their comeback

When people, movie buffs in particular, were asked about their take on such comebacks, we got our sack filled with mixed reactions.

Naveen Malhotra, an MBA (Master of Business Administration) student at IMT (Institute of Management Technology) chuckles, “Though we are having so many comebacks these days, yet these actresses need to work on the upholding of their reappearances. Like after Hema Malini’s Baghban and Veer Zara, we are again left with waiting for her next. So is the case with others. I guess, they must keep up giving their part of performances. I was highly disappointed with Zeenat Aman’s work in Boom. We, as an audience, look forward to seeing something more than the usual glamour existing now when the yesteryears’ stars touch the silver screen.”

Whereas, Itisha Patlan, a physiotherapist by profession, comes out with a new line, “I would like to see Madhubala and Geeta Bali act again, in lead roles! They are more powerful actresses than any of those we have today. And yes, it’s always good to see ‘good’ actresses on screen, no matter how many birthdays they have celebrated.”

Sakshi Rawat, an HR (human resource) personnel, says, “It depends on the performance enacted by the particular actress. Like in Baghban, Hema Malini looked dazzling. And it seemed that she still had that spark! So why not? I believe age but performances matter in today’s time.”

She drives a Mercedes-Benz, he a Honda CBR. She is a bookworm, he a sports buff. She is a republican, he a democrat. She prefers career to family, he the other way around. Do opposites really attract? If they do, how? If not, then who do?

‘If you want to find a great relationship, look for an opposite’. We have all heard this time and again. Let the concept of ‘opposites’ get clear first. As per our mindset, we think, or rather, misconstrue the term. If you are a great conversation lover and your partner hates to talk, then the two of you are opposites. Clear opposites! And if you can’t stomach what the other is passionate about, how can you two be a couple, in the first place, let alone be attracted to each other?

On the other hand, if you love to talk non-stop and your companion loves to listen to you along with joining you in the tête-à-tête, only then the ‘attraction’ factor develops in the relationship. There has to be a comfort level involved. And that comes through understanding each other’s likes and dislikes and preferences. Thus, it’s not the ‘opposites’ who attract each other; it’s the ‘complements’ who get smitten by one another.

What do we look for when deciding the Mr or Miss Right? Obviously, not the opposite persona! We seek out a mate who can make us ‘complete’. Don’t we? We need a shoulder to cry upon when down in the dumps, not an ‘I’ll speak to you when you are done with shedding your tears’ shrug; we look for someone who loves having career related discussions with us, not someone who is satisfied with running a grocery shop and doesn’t want to think further, etc etc.

This ‘completion-quench’ springs from an original longing for acquaintance of the objects we have experienced all through our early days, or in any other family circumstances. For instance, a guy having a domineering father would easily bond with an authoritarian girl like his father. Or, those who strike a chord with him in the manner he balanced and adjusted with his dominant father.

It is always a wise move to call a ‘not-working’ relationship off, the minute one realises this. It’s better to move ahead, than to put up with a complex, unwanted, agonising relationship, and await the one who truly complements you.

Does your dad write your resumes? Is your mom always accompanying you to a career counseling or a job fair? Do your parents go to the extent of calling up employers to inquire the reasons of your rejection? If yes, you have helicopter parents.

Wondering what does that mean? Despite the fact that you live with them, you don’t realise who they are and what they are doing to you. Though they are not seen in every family (of course, exceptions are always there), yet can be witnessed in every third house in your neighbourhood.

They are the hovering parents…snooping in all your matters with command, wrestling your combats for you, flooring your paths, guarding you at any cost. To cut a long story short, you are absolutely dependent on them, in every respect. Even if you want to step ahead on your own, they won’t allow! They still take you as ‘kids’ and will make sure you walk according to the ‘baby steps’ designed by them. Such ‘pushy’ parents are termed as ‘helicopter parents’.

The intention at the back of such parents’ heads is that of the love and care they hold for their broods, which turn them over-protective; it has consequences but results.

It’s an agonising situation for a parent to witness his or her child fall short. If truth were told, it is one of the most exigent pictures for a parent to experience. And in such scenarios, the parent needs to be tough in order to provide enough room for his child to be stronger and get prepared for even bigger challenges. But more often than not, they follow the opposite track and fall into the category of helicopter parents.

An advice to the helicopter parents

Today’s parents need to understand one simple thing – being protective for your kids is good, but getting over-protective may (will) attack their individual growth. Such treatment develops various shortcomings in your children’s personality – they can’t put up with a failure, they can’t survive a challenge etc (you name it and they have it!). Rather, give them some space so that they learn the most important lesson of life – to get to the top of the escalator, you need to climb up the first step yourself, making way for further steps. Afterall, getting up to make another try for a success after a fall is the best way to fight a life-battle and win it too.